Wednesday, December 30

vending women

It's not enough to objectify women simply with direct beauty ads. Why not make them a commodity that you purchase for the price of a soft drink?

Is the fantasy the man's? The ultimate male fantasy to get, instantly, any woman he wants (preferrably very slim and showing lots of skin). Cutting through the 'red tape' of dating.
Is the fantasy the woman's? To wait patiently and passively for a man to choose her and therefore be rescued (and by the looks of it, any man will do).

Don't be too hard on this guy though, he's really very, er, inclusive. Look, he has many women in his closet from which to choose. Look how happy the chosen one is, looking up at her man. And if he forgets what sort of woman he likes, there's the anorexic model poster on his wall to remind him.

Just to round out the wonderful messages, let's make them all very fair-skinned.... never mind that it's an advertisement in India, shhh, they won't notice.

Oh, and in case you hadn't realised, it's an ad for shoes.

If you want to let them know what a fabulous job they're doing, you can:

Tuesday, December 29

99 things

At a time when people are reflecting...... this was a bit o' fun...

Things you've already done: bold
Things you want (or might want) to do: italicize
Things you haven't done and don't want to - leave in plain font

1. Started your own blog.

2. Slept under the stars.

3. Played in a band.

4. Visited Hawaii.

5. Watched a meteor shower.

6. Given more than you can afford to charity.

7. Been to Disneyland/world.

8. Climbed a mountain. - Not like Everest but several small ones, you know, hiking slowly...

9. Held a praying mantis.

10. Sang a solo.

11. Bungee jumped.

12. Visited Paris.

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.

14. Taught yourself an art/craft from scratch. - art photography, hemp weaving, crochet

15. Adopted a child.

16. Had food poisoning.

17. Let someone else take the credit.

18. Grown your own vegetables.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.

20. Slept on an overnight train. - Brisbane to Cairns, although there was more drinking than sleeping...

21. Had a pillow fight.

22. Hitch hiked.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.

24. Built a snow fort - what's that? Hey, I grew up in Australia!

25. Held a lamb.

26. Gone skinny dipping.

27. Run a marathon.

28. Ridden a gondola in Venice. - Close. Rode the water taxis, cheaper and not touristy.

29. Seen a total eclipse.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.

31. Hit a home run.

32. Been on a cruise.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. - I don't ask for much.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing.

40. Seen Michelangelo's David in person.

41. Sung Karaoke.

42. Rode a camel.

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant. - Not in a restaurant, took it outside...

44. Been on an African safari. - Nearly, so very nearly.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.

46. Been transported in an ambulance.

47. Done something illegal. - ahem

48. Gone deep sea fishing.

49. Seen the Sistine chapel in person.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkelling. - Not on your life!

52. Kissed in the rain.

53. Played in the mud.

54. Gone to a drive-in theatre.

55. Been in a movie.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. - omg, me, a girl scout!!!

62. Gone whale watching.

63. Received flowers for no reason. - there's always a reason

64. Donated blood.

65. Gone sky diving.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.

67. Bounced a cheque.

68. Flown in a helicopter.

69. Kept a favorite childhood toy.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.

71. Eaten caviar - over-rated.

72. Pieced a quilt.

73. Stood in Times Square.

74. Been on TV. - was on a children's quiz show when I was about 12, chuckle I didn't win.

75. Been fired from a job.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London.

77. Broken a bone. - Only a small fracture.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

80. Published a book. - but let's just start by writing it shall we?

81. Visited the Vatican.

82. Bought a brand new car.

83. Walked in Jerusalem.

84. Had your picture in the newspaper.

85. Read the entire Bible. - almost

86. Visited the White House.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.

88. Listened to Tibetan monks chanting, in person.

89. Saved someone’s life. - May have, indirectly, working for a suicide help-line...

90. Sat on a jury.

91. Met someone famous. - Bob Marley's son, what'shisname... shrug

92. Joined a book club.

93. Lost a loved one.

94. Had a baby.

95. Seen the Alamo in person.

96. Went skinny-dipping.

97. Been involved in a law suit. - I was a witness once...

98. Owned a cell phone.

99. Been stung by a bee.

Sunday, December 27

F.A.B.B Share

I really love hearing what others are reading or watching. I also like to see what your kids are reading too.
It's a weekend meme.

So, what are you and your family currently reading, watching, and/or listening to?


On Thursday I cracked open, The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. Can't believe I haven't read this one yet.

The Wildflower (20 mths old) immediately enjoyed her next Julia Donaldson, The Gruffalo. With her usual wonderful rhythm, she has this little one's attention. I enjoy this one as well, and the monster isn't too scary for the little ones, possibly....


It's rare for me to fill this one in. But this last week I've been floating on the caresses of famous arias, as I bake and bake and bake...
I couldn't call myself a Music Person, I'm visually inclined and enjoy silence too much. But I love music like the average person. And classical pieces always, without fail, move my soul. Sometimes it's the meaning, usually it's the wonder of a melody or the aching beauty of a single note. Tears, goosebumps... it's both exhausting and fulfilling.

Song to the Moon, Rusalka, Dvorak
Rusalka pleas to the moon to tell the prince of her love for him.... don't miss the 2nd half....

And I can also tell you what I'm not listening to.... I've hidden the Birthday Song CD that came with The Gruffalo book far away behind other things. Brings chills down my spine. What can I say - children's songs brrrrr.


Very naughty of me, I watched episodes 8 & 9 of Eastwick. Oooh, the suspense!

I indulged in some period drama with Cranford. Didn't want it to end. Would love an ongoing period series.

And I could't believe, after just bringing out the Gruffalo, discovering that they were airing the animated version on Xmas day in the UK! Just two days to wait, and there it is on youtube.

The Gruffalo


A quiet week online, mostly visiting regular blogs for holiday wishes.

Add your link in the Comments if you've done your own.

One Pink Fish
Huckleberry Stew

And don't forget a Month in Review, after the 31st, which could be a Year in Review if you like!

Thursday, December 24

post Solstice ramblings

I had to visit here and get my writing fix. I have some posts in my head which will be much less fun without your input, so I'll wait 'till after the holidays. So a ramblin' I go...
  • Winter Solstice turned out to be the quiet affair that feels most right for me. Lots of candles, lots of introspection, friends and food the on the eve.
    We might add a little more 'sparkle' when the Wildflower is older and if she wants it. The main Solstice candle was blown out before bed as a family, which was a lovely special moment, as we said goodbye to the old stuff and old cycle.
    I'm definitely feeling the lighter load...

  • We have a new memory card in the digital camera, which we formatted in the camer before use. Now, my computer is asking to format it before I can download the pics. Yikes. I'm afraid to delete everything on there, which formatting normally does right? Does anyone have any advice?

  • It's been raining here for days, so we're snuggling and reading and listening to opera.... I'm doing some crocheting - a pillow cover for the Wildflower. I'll have a FABB Share for you this weekend.

  • Husband is working hard on the house. The wooden floors are down and the doors are on upstairs. But we have leaks, from external doors and windows - it's quite vexing.
  • Mercury is retrograding from 26th Dec to Jan 15th - so watch communications. They'll go awry, be confused, be misunderstood, get lost. Not a time to sign contracts, make decisions, start anything new, or travel. Watch what you say and how you say it, and take what you hear lightly.
    Tough one if you're still visiting with family....

    Mars is also retrograding - taking action needs to put by the side for now. Time to introspect on our desires, impulses, repressed anger or frustration, and how we go about getting what we want.

    And a lunar eclipse on the 31st!

  • A lovely lady brought a new life into the world...

  • I redecorated here at Holistic Mama - siiigh, feels more reflective of me now - and over at chewing a leaf too - feels cosier now -.... and I've posted my reading list for 2010.

  • The Wildflower is teething her canines. She's doing okay with them really. But of course, sleep is even less than usual. I'm working hard at not becoming frustrated by lack of writing time.... my book feels like it's slipping away from me.... it's a horrible feeling.... I'm mentally holding on tight.

  • I have two cake recipes to share with you soon - a honey cake and a ginger cake. yum, yum.
Have a great Christmas if you're celebrating. Be happy.

Saturday, December 19

solstice letting go

The Winter Solstice is about the dark time yeilding to the light time.

Some of this is honoured in actual letting go. It's a time I use to, among other things, reflect back on the issues and experiences that have weighed me down, brought up anxiety, guilt, regret, or pain, and what no longer works, or has had its time.

It's about letting go, releasing, saying goodbye.

Some of the things I'll be letting go....

* Finally, my pain over our breastfeeding experience.

Despite it being over 17 months ago, I discovered a few weeks back that some pain was lingering deep down. I had wanted breastfeeding to work, desperately. It didn't happen for us, and it hurt deeply.

Time to release the feelings of inadequacy, guilt, doubt, regret. It is the past.

- I did what I could with what I knew and where I was at the time.
- my girl is the healthiest child I know.
- breastfeeding is just one aspect of a grander parenting journey.
- guilt and regret are eroding emotions.

I give them up.

* my old (theoretical) marriage

Too personal to write about here, but so many of us go through ups and downs, and even challenges that stretch love to breaking point.

- wounds have been healed, hearts opened, hopefully, new understandings reached.
- the past deserves to lie in peace.
- new Love needs fresh Light. We have to look forward.

I say goodbye to the old relationship.

* Mothering expectations

My mothering journey has included deep dives into my attitudes, emotions, philosophies, and my child's inherent Self. I feel honoured that so many of you have shared this journey with me here.
What I hadn't worked on consciously, but what creeps around the edges, is a need, or belief, to be something that is valued externally from me. That is, with so many forums, blogs, articles, books, labels, websites, about mothering naturally, us women allow ourselves to feel we aren't enough.

We say, I'm not as crafty, natural, playful, available, as other mothers. When all that matters is us and our child and our relationship, and what comes naturally to us. Another mother's choice and abilities has nothing to do with me.

Fortunately, I never fell for the lies, but I did let them wander around in the garden of my heart. Time for them to leave. They have no home here.


And on the other side of the Solstice, I start afresh. The Light brings with it, not so much newness like Spring, but renewed hope, clearer understandings, and a lighter load, that have grown out of the rich soil of the Dark.

May your own letting go be filled with peace, and the lightness fill your soul for the beautiful wonder of the next cycle.

Monday, December 14

locks and lockets

At the Wildflower's recent dedication ritual thingy, I cut a lock of her hair, her first one. While in England I was on the look out for a locket for it.

I love lockets and had never had a solid reason to wear one. Not that one needs a reason, but you know....

I have a thing about boxes. LOVE 'em. They hold so much promise. And lockets fall into that category, of I wonder what' inside...

Most I saw where the common silver flowered kind. Just not my thing. I was hoping to find something in pewter, but it's a specialist item I suppose. So I ended up buying a very simple inexpensive silver circular one because I wanted to start wearing her lock of hair and photo near my heart asap. But it doesn't inspire me at all. I just landed on Etsy and thought to look up lockets. Oh my.

1. Ocean Blue Seaglass 2. Debb's Designs 3. Jewelry by Vicki 4. Envisage
5. Heartworks by Lori 6. Days Long Gone 7. Dahlia 8. Prairie Blossoms
9. Lili Swan 10. Ruby Ann 11. Dana Marie 12. Tori Hennon

Not all my style, but just appreciating good craft and loving the variety.

Do you own a locket? Want to share with me what's in it? Would you like to own one? Do you keep any of your children's first locks anywhere?

Saturday, December 12

F.A.B.B Share

I really love hearing what others are reading or watching. I also like to see what your kids are reading too.
It's a weekend meme.

So, what are you and your family currently reading, watching, and/or listening to?


I finished The Red Tent (for our join-in-at-any-time online book club) and enjoyed it. My review is over here, and here's the discussion.

While away in England, I picked up a 2nd-hand copy of Holt's Why Children Fail. He's quite harsh and a little blinkered in attitude, but hey, it was written more than a few decades back. Otherwise, I found myself dog-earing so many pages. A very worthwhile read that is just as relevant today, although he was preaching to the converted here.

The new version is retitled How Children Fail.

I'm undecided about what to get stuck into next.

My 19 month-old girl:

Well, we bought several books via Amazon to be delivered in UK, but my fave was charity shop (thrift store) purchases. I found so many good books, in great condition too.

One of her favourites is Slinky Malinki, Lynley Dodd, and she enjoys The Fox's Hiccups, Nick Butterworth.

Slinky Malinki was blacker than black,
a stalking and lurking adventurous cat.

I'm not enamoured by either, but Slinky Malinky has great rhythm and hiccups are always fun. [edit: they have both grown on me and the girlchild continues to enjoy them]


I've snuck in episode 7 of Eastwick.

I haven't got into the latest SYTYCD - I had been looking for season 7, couldn't find it, and only now know it's actually season 6 *roll eyes* - but am enjoying the odd dance here and there highlighted by fellow bloggers.

Today Husband and I watched, for the first time, a bit of an oldie - Before Sunrise.

The Wildflower is enjoying Nick Butterworth's Percy the Park Keeper on DVD. I love seeing her face as she makes the connection between characters in a book who then appear on screen.

It's a gentle set of stories, very appropriate for little ones. Worth noting that they use English regional accents.


Inspired by Lisa to include another B...... blogs, why not, ay?

I was happy to hear that Carin, an old friend and loyal reader, started blogging again, she's now over at Created with Love.
You could lose hours at Fail Blog.(not for kiddies)
Interesting post..... Portion Distortion.
New blog.... Living the Frugal Life.

Add your link in the Comments if you've done your own.

Idzie at I'm Unschooled. Yes, I can Write.

Friday, December 11

magic, (mostly) without Xmas

So, we don't do Xmas around here. We're not Christian, I don't go for the commercialism, mounds of presents, Santa, general craziness around the shops/stores, Advent thingies, or anything really. For me, gifts are for birthdays or spontaneous giving. I'm not even sure what's been celebrated by non-Christians. And I really dislike the pressure many feel to do something, despite it not being their holiday.
When I reveal all this to people, they say 'ooh, humbug', which is very annoying. I'm not anti-Xmas, I'm respectful of everyone's traditions and beliefs, and I don't not celebrate it out of spite or humbugness. It just has no connection for me, and what I do has to have meaning.
People can be really weird about such things, as if what I did or believed had anything to do with what they did or believed.

However, I do recognise the magic that springs up at this time of year from the collective minds of those who do celebrate, Christian or secular. The Xmas spirit as it's known. Also, my own honouring of the Winter Solstice is at the same time.

I've always done my own quiet thing for the Solstice, and eventually added a special meal to include the Husband. Now, with a child, I'm starting to wonder about doing more.

I'm not one for making a huge deal out of these things. However, there is only one other time of year that we celebrate - just had that in England. It's a huge family thing. But even that is religious and we're not religious. And it doesn't involve decorations or anything magical.

Anyway, my point in all this is that I'm liking the idea of having a really special, fun, big deal, celebration, once a year. In fact, perhaps twice, with the Summer Solstice being the other. Except, that at this time of year, we can tap into that collective holiday spirit flitting around in the air.

I know that there are many people in a similar situation. They're not religious but they're spiritual. They have kids and what didn't matter before matters now. They want to do something special but don't want to be dragged into someone else's beliefs or ways. They want to make it real.
I know many who mix Xmasy ideas with secular ones. Whatever works and means something.

Here is my Big List of Solstice/Yuletide/Winter Ideas*

* candles
- as this is a time about light, candles are a biggie. Making them, decorating them, finding new (and safe) ways to display them. Decorating holders and jars. Gathering them and spending a family day putting them about. Garden candles too. Perhaps also even a few artificial lights for areas needing more safety or for a permanent light.
* food
- part of every celebration right? But it should never become a chore or a stressful activity. I'm a believer that the cook's emotions go into the food, and I can't believe how stressed people get around Thanksgiving or Xmas, and how much they over-cook!
My emphasis is going to be on special but simple/stress-free. That is, we don't need 20 different dishes. We just want good food and 1 or 2 things we wouldn't normally have. Perhaps a special main course and a special dessert? I like the idea of a special cake, or such, that we would make each year, becoming traditional.
* Preparing the home
- unlike most ideas of 'the house has to be spotless because we're having guests', I want it to be a ritual. Where together, as a family, we clean the cobwebs away, making way for the new cycle. If something doesn't get cleaned, it doesn't, no problem.
- clearing out a specific thing; toys, books, boxes of stuff, etc
- collecting things for recycling and charity
* Making things
- not everyone is creative with bits of felt or yarn or paper, but there are kits and such where you simply put things together or paint by number, and so on. But EVERY child can stick and glue and cut and spread glitter.
- make decorations, cards, gifts. It's all about re-using, being creative, and spending time together.
* Gifts
- one small gift for each family member (or names out of a hat for large families). We live in abundance, we don't need more stuff. But giving gifts to our loved ones gives us a wonderful feeling, no less for children. If the emphasis is on small, then the focus remains on the joy of giving.
- one gift for a homeless/poor/disadvantaged child (whether local or in another country). I want to instill this idea of giving, instead of more and more receiving.
- gift of time. Volunteer work. Soup kitchen, or see if an elderly neighbour needs some work around the house. If you can't find any or it's impractical, bake cookies, make mini bundles, and visit all your neighbours, especially new ones or from several streets away!
* Special moments
- a picnic, or story-telling, in the middle of the living room surrounded only by candle light.
- a ritual of letting go of the old and opening up for the new. (like writing down past hurts and disappointments on slips of paper and burning them. Perhaps have a special vessel for this, or make a bonfire!)
- tell/read stories about the Solstice, or Winter season.
- a 'ritual' bath with essential oils of the season (make your own soap with the oils!) A way for each family member to prepare themselves in a special way for the main dinner.
- sing! Many holiday songs are secular.
* Nature activities
This could be an endless list really, I ought to create a post for this alone. Some ideas...
- make a crafty snowman or snowflake or Winter game
- Winter collage mixing natural items with paper and paints, etc
- learn about Winter animals
- okay, just go google 'winter activities' I guess. I'll add more here if I find something solstice specific.
- every day from the 1st Dec, go on walks and bring one item home to add to a solstice table.

It's not all what I would necessarily do myself, but it's there for other readers, and for me to refer back to for inspiration. Please let me know of your own ideas.

I have to leave you with books, glorious books, right?


The Winter Solstice Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening, Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Animals in Winter, Amazon USA
Amazon UK

The Return of the Light: Twelve Tales from Around the World for the Winter Solstice, Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Lights of Winter: Winter Celebrations Around the World Amazon USA
Amazon UK

The Night of Las Posadas Amazon USA
Amazon UK

A Solstice Tree for Jenny Amazon USA
Amazon UK

The Friendly Beasts Amazon USA
Amazon UK

The Shortest Day: Celebrating the Winter Solstice Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Lucia and the Light Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Owl Moon Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Winter Tree Finder (Nature Study Guides) Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Grandmother Winter Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Yule: A Celebration of Light and Warmth Amazon USA
Amazon UK

The Mitten Amazon USA

[I do get a few cents/pence if you purchase from my links. A little less to Amazon. ;)]

And for those of you who do celebrate Christamas, I wish for you an amazing, magical, and stree-free build up too.

* it will be a big list eventually.

p.s, new video on my sidebar.

Thursday, December 10

The Red Tent

The Red Tent, Anita Diamant
Worth: Photobucket

I enjoyed this so much more than I thought I would. I'm not sure I would have enjyed it as much if I had read it years back. I do believe that being older, more embracing of the feminine within, and being a mother, helped me appreciate this tale.

And that's the first thing I savoured, the tales of womanhood, the magic of the Feminine soul, and the earthy magic of women gathering. Yet later, I discovered that it was also simply an interesting story. Of one woman's journey, of family, of loss, of love. All the usual good drama stuff.

I care little about the whole Biblical issue - whether it's accurate and so forth. It's fiction. However, knowing the Bible well enough (as a non-Christian), I will say that Diamant created a very believable version of Dinah's story from Genesis. She kept extremely close to the current Biblical version, and anyone interested knows that there are questions and doubts and differing beliefs about the truth of that account anyway.

I loved that Diamant created a strong woman (amongst many strong women). I loved not only that they were given the voices that they're denied in the Bible, but also fleshy and often formidable personalities.

All that aside, I cherished Diamant's raising of the power, beauty, importance, practical usefulness, and wonder, of femaleness. From cooking, to weaving, peacekeeping, soothing, birthing, home-making, menstruating, creating bonds, story-telling, mothering, nurturing, leading, intuiting, dreaming, prophesying..... phew.

The writing isn't anything special, but it's good. It flowed in the way you want it to, unobtrusive when the tale is everything.

The painful things.......... seemed like the knots on a beautiful necklace,
necessary for keeping the beads in place.

Also, there are about a million people mentioned. You know, all that fun begetting. But I glazed over most of the names. It's not necessary to keep any track. What I enjoyed was that the long Biblical lists were made real. They weren't just names, but, for example, a son of the man that was Dinah's brother who used to make her laugh, and so on.

Although the women are given personalities and voices, I didn't feel that Diamant was trying to make each one complete. There were just too many really. The main mothers were fleshy enough. Who mattered was Dinah, and where she came from. I admired and liked Dinah by the end. Yet it was knowing enough of her mothers that helped me appreciate that she was not whole unto herself, but rather a product of other people, other women, her mothers, her aunties, her cousins, and the memories of long-dead female relatives. All survived in the spinning, making of beer, knowledge of herbs, way of thinking.

Diamant impresses on the reader the wonderous and basic cycle of life and death, through the story of one woman.

I don't think it's a book for everyone. Unlikely to appeal to militant feminists for instance (despite the women being strong, they are womanly). But for any woman that is in touch with and embraces their femininity, intuition, female bonds, the magic of bleeding.... this will support and honour your own truths.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

It's easy to be thankful for the good stuff, can you be thankful for the not so good?
(as serious or light-hearted as you like)
read more here

While in England, and with family, the Wildflower was given new, ahem, suggestions.... from family. Suggestions I would not make and that irked me.

- jump on the sofa!
- go on, throw it (of various items)
- burp louder
- say, smelly uncle

Encouragement to throw things across a room, or to say 'mean' words to others. I just don't understand their thinking. These suggestions, and others similar, were made even after hints from me, or downright direct requests. So it was mostly being ignored that was really tough. Everyone felt they knew better. Or simply enjoyed being defiant. It's a very difficult situation to be in - to have people purposefully not respect your wishes.

And of course this was all going on during a very trying time as it was. My patience was tested.

I don't want to raise my girl in a bubble, and I want a strong bond for her with an extended family. But at under 2 years of age, I want to include as much of the 'good' influences and as little of the not so good. At some point, relatively soon, she'll be picking up all sorts of less than enchanting behaviours and phrases.... but is it too much to ask for my parental wishes to come first, for now? I value respect, kindness, compassion, consideration. I felt like I was amongst everything but that. All I ask is that I'm heard, and that I'm supported by those closest to me.

Kathy Pitras, Warrior Mother to be thankful for this...

I am thankful for the input she received, that I disliked, anyway because...
... it gave me practice on accepting that I cannot control her world, and that I shouldn't.
... it gave her the right to take what suggestions she enjoys or finds interesting
... it gave me the opportunity to test out how we'll handle undersirable (to us) behaviours
... it showed me just how much I can keep my mouth shut.
... it gave me the chance to remember that my influence is a tiny part of this journey, and that who she is and is meant to be, is about something deeper, more soulful, grander, and more amazing, than specific things I wish and don't wish her to do.

Okay, I got it. That last one rocked me. There I had been thinking I was allowing her to blossom into the person I already believed she is.... so why get hung up on such small details? I don't love her for the details. My job, ultimately, isn't about the details. It's about Love.

If you've done your own Thankful Anyway, go ahead and add your link - directly to the post - to the linky below (not visible in feed reader). Grab the button up the top (right click & Save As) and a link back is always nice.

Tuesday, December 8

finding home

We're back home, and I would have blogged earlier if it weren't for this awful cold I brought back with me. Body said - do nothing.... so I did, mostly anyway.

Recently I found myself chatting to friends about the concept of 'home', and what it means to each of us. There are so many concepts attached to it. Is it the place you were born? The place your ancestors dwelled? The land whose energy seems to support your own? The house you built? The place where your things are? The land you've worked? Wherever you are at the time?

I've often joked that wherever I lay my hat books, that's my home....

But it's not really a joke, not completely. I am nomadic. I've lived in three countries (not for work or other sensible reasons), and show no signs of leaving it there. I'm the sort of person that when travelling, suggests we head back home, referring to the current hotel. Right now, my books lay in Montenegro.

Bedouin tent. Credit: Shutterstock

On the plane, looking down at the English coastline, I got an overwhelming feeling of 'coming home'. Unexpected. I found it confusing, and yet, not. You know?

My time in England, almost 13 years, gave me so much. I am a creature of nature, and so my connection to the Land was fierce and intimate. Cornwall seemed to have the most supportive energy for me. But there is also an overlaying energetic noise there, of historical happenings, that is too loud for me.

Our 3 weeks there were tough. The Wildflower had a great three days and then began to feel the over-stimulation. Then she began to ask for her familiar things. Then she was subjected to 6 days of NOISE, as well as 'arumentativ type noise, and then she had a weird 24hr illness, and she hated her new formula, she was having 3-4 tantrums a day!, and then she caught a cold, and then I did, and then the flight back was during her nap time and it was TOUGH...... sigh.....

Despite how difficult it has been having a velcro baby, we have a very strong bond, that for her has meant a strong physical bond as well. In such an upheaval as our trip, I was her anchor..... her home. I'm grateful that I was able to provide such a secure sense of stability for her.

On arriving home, my heart was squeezed tight when I saw a smile slowly spread across her face as she looked down on her Bumbo (child seat thing). I could sense her gentle happiness. This item was a beloved and more importantly, a familiar thing. The next morning when she woke, she looked up at a picture on the wall, with a similar smile. She was home.

I had also felt that I was arriving home. I wondered if it was simply because this is where my books lay. Where I had set up camp... for now. I know that part of the feeling was having my personal space back. Boundaries.

I have yet to find the home of my heart, of my soul. Not sure if it's important really. I know that it matters to live somewhere where I feel supported by my environment though. For me that includes mountains and water.

For some people, home nurturing comes from the simple tangible things - the wood stove, the baking pans, the garden.... for others it's wherever family is... for others it's a connection to the Land.......
What do we mean by home? The safest place, the place that supports us, the place we feel most ourselves, where we are most comfortable, where you'll sleep? What else?

If you're not in your heart home right now, how strongly do you feel the disconnection?

I think of myself as a citizen of the world, and perhaps I'll always roam, and be happy to do so. Or perhaps there's a Place out there that calls me still, and even explains my itchy feet. Having a child means I need to consider her ideas of home too.

Are you at home?

Ahhh... that felt good, it's great to back here, chatting, connecting....